Michelle Ellman - Ep #35
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Today we have a brilliant interview with super coach Michelle Ellman and it's all about boundaries. Michelle's no-nonsense advice has led to her getting over 300 000 followers on social media.
In the ep. we joke around about how on the internet everyone is always telling people to cut boundary crossers out of their life in every situation. The nuanced conversation really helped my understanding of boundary setting and how it's important to be selfish to show self-care.
Here were three stand out points:
1) We don't set boundaries because we don't know how we feel. This rang true for me because it'll sometimes be the next day before I click 'Oh, I should have been angry there'. We have to get in touch with our emotions first.
2) Selflessness is often selfishness disguised as virtue. How often is about control? How often does it come from a place of insecurity? Or out of a feeling that we know best?
Boundaries are frowned upon but are ways to protect ourselves so we can contribute to the world.
3) Boundaries can be thrilling acts of creation. Saying to yourself "I won't let someone treat me in that way" defines who you are. The boundary creates room for you to inhabit. It's basically a loft extension for your personality.
4) One area we disagreed on is whether you can have different boundaries for different people and different places. My own take is that you can, Michelle thought that it was you choosing to allow your boundary to be broken. Who do you think is right?
Michelle has a book out. You should get it.
The Joy of Being Selfish: https://www.waterstones.com/book/the-joy-of-being-selfish/michelle-elman/9781787396777
Find Michelle Ellman here:
Instagram: @scarrednotscared
Twitter: @ScarredNtScared
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